#into believing kids just have a shit play phase

[inkagenda]

do you have any fun or random hensper headcannons???

i do!!! thanks for giving me an excuse to dump some of them :)

1) jasper is very affectionate but was really surprised to find out that henry is even cornier. once they've gotten together and figured their shit out, henry goes all out. he just constantly flirts with jasper, pulling out the "i'm in a band" line and sending cringey redflix and chill memes, even though they're literally already together.

2) jasper never grew out of his bucket phase; he just started keeping it to himself because he figured no one actually cared. henry noticed this, so when he sees a random bucket, he'll point it out, or he'll pretend to have a photo of a bucket pop up on his twitflash feed, just so he can get jasper to start talking about buckets again. one time, he even bought a miniature bucket and randomly gave it to jasper to use as a pencil case, and when jasper looked all confused, henry tried to play it cool and was all like "oh, i thought you still liked buckets." (jasper did, in fact, still like buckets (he kept the pencil bucket)).

3) henry is jasper's go-to when he's freaking out (which is kind of already canon tbh). in love muffin when omar spits on jasper, henry's there with a rag and a hand on jasper's shoulder. he's reassuring jasper, saying things like "it's alright, it's not that bad, come here," which makes me believe henry is just more gentle and affectionate than anyone else when it comes to jasper, which is why he's the best at comforting jasper. other people wouldn't speak to jasper softly the way henry does or give him hugs and comforting touches.

and then there's the quiet times when jasper has to calm henry down or try to make him feel better, and jasper is incredibly good at it. except there are times where he just can't always do his best because they're currently in a time where henry has only girlfriends, and jasper is his best friend, so even though he likes henry, he's there when henry ends up between girlfriends or in an argument. and when this happens, he always ends up doing something dumb to cheer henry up, like grabbing henry's hand and playing a game of thumb war or rock, paper, scissors. so he'll take henry's hand and place it on top of his own closed fist and then goes “you win… yay!” and lets go to pump his fists in the air. it's stupid, but it always works on henry.

4) when they lived in their apartment in dystopia, grocery shopping was quite literally a game for them. they sucked at it, so they had to make it fun otherwise they wouldn't get what they needed or do it right. but the games started to get physical to the point where they'd get kicked out, so they stuck to just making puns out of brands and stuff. but then they'd get competitive and physical again, so it's now a cycle.

5) and future married-with-kids hensper is just them timing each other and seeing who can speed-run getting the kids dressed or ready for school the fastest.

and idk if this counts as a headcanon but missy had a hensper phase!! when they arrive to a new reality, and henry is suddenly dressed in a tuxedo, he's just totally confused. and ray steps inside and he's like "kid, what the hell are you doing? get out here." and then he's just standing there thinking that he's the best man at jasper's wedding, until jasper walks down the aisle, and henry realizes what's happening.

(i also have one that's kinda the opposite way. it's the same concept, except henry is pushed through the doors and is made to walk down the aisle).

[twoballs-onehammer]

Just described to my nursing student friend how the mom of the kid I used to nanny for told me that his affinity for taking off his diaper and playing with his own shit when he was supposed to be napping was “just a normal childhood phase” and also how she would frequently leave me to deal with the aftermath while criminally underpaying me anyways you’ll never guess what my friend told me

[drawnecromancy]

Random sillies from snooping around in the goblin camp. Veldren does flirt as a hobby so they're having a lot of fun with Astarion so far.

Bonus under the cut :

Shadowheart and Lae'zel don't agree on many things except the fact that these two are So Fucking Tiring because they're Like That all the fucking time.

[cityofmeliora]

Terzo + children 🥰

Terzo loves and cares about kids so much, and that is one of my favorite things about him.

this is one of my favorite Terzo clips ever. it is SO sweet:

[seeing a baby dressed as Papa Emeritus] PAPA EMERITUS III: Oh hi, little one! Hello! Awww… Now this little guy here… Hey! [UNINTELLIGIBLE] Hey. So pleased to see you. Give it up for the next generation! Fantastic. Good parenting! Unholy / Unplugged - Los Angeles, California, USA (August 20, 2015)

Terzo is always so happy and excited to see kids at his shows.

[sees a child sitting on someone's shoulders in the audience] PAPA EMERITUS III: Hello, little guy! Hello! So happy to see you in here. Leeds Festival - Leeds, England (August 30, 2015)

[sees a small child in the audience] PAPA EMERITUS III: Little one! Big applause for the little toddler! Lawrence, Kansas, USA (October 5, 2015)

and Terzo cares so so much for their well-being and safety.

PAPA EMERITUS III: Oh, by the way, it is very important– you see, there are kids in the crowd, so you have to take it easy a little bit on the moshing. Little girls here, too! They can get squashed! Birmingham, Alabama, USA (May 2, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Just one thing, though, before we continue: I see a lot of small kids here. So please, please take it easy with the kids. Very important. We need to take care of the children. We're here to have fun, but please. Are you with us? PAPA EMERITUS III: Is everybody OK? You kids in the front, are you OK? Everybody happy? I'm saying this once more: it's very, very, very, very fucking utterly important that you are taking good care of the children here in the front. It's all filled with children here in the front, so every big person that comes over this way, it's a very big and lethal risk for them, do you understand? So all you big boys, think a little, would you please? PAPA EMERITUS III: And please, before I get a little bit too repetitive, can you please take fucking care of the children? Yes. I know you're smart, so please show it. Lunatic Luau - Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA (May 6, 2016)

i love the bit he does where he checks if there are kids in the audience and then apologizes for swearing (and then he keeps swearing anyway). he wants to be good for the children, but he really doesn't believe in censorship, haha.

PAPA EMERITUS III: I see a little girl. Hello! Hello. How do you do? Are you having a good time? Is it a good show? Are we playing well for you? Well, thank you so much. You know what? We have a tendency to write songs that sort of deals with how you get little kids like that. Sort of the uh, beginning phase. If there is that many kids here tonight, I don't know, but you have to bear with me. Hello! You're also a kid? OK. Well, I'll cut down on the "cunt"s and "fuck"s and "shit"s. But I have a tendency to be foul-mouthed. Sorry about that. I hope you can bear with me. San Francisco, CA, USA (October 23, 2015)

and there is of course the adorable video of Terzo bringing TF's kids on stage.

PAPA EMERITUS III: You came to here to be scared, right? Are you here to get scared? I've got two little scary ones that want to come out and scare all of y'all. Big round of applause for our little scary ghouls here tonight. Don't they look very scary to you? The Clergy taught them well. Thank you, little ones. Lovely. Give a big round of applause for the new generation of ghouls, who scare all of y'all. Let me lead you into the night… Getaway Rock Festival - Gävle, Sweden (August 8, 2015)

Terzo is such a dad... and he *did* say he has a child. i do think it was just TF slipping up / being unable to stop himself from yapping, but Terzo said it and he didn't take it back, so i'm counting it as canon <3

PAPA EMERITUS III: I guess you all know about the birds and the bees and how it's done, right? We don't have to educate you in that. [looks at parent and child in the audience] I know, I know. She will get there too, I promise. That's the thing, you know... I have a little one too... [puts hand over heart] My god! Geneva, Switzerland (November 19, 2015)

(there are more clips and pictures and stuff, but in the interest of keeping this post a moderate length, this is all im including.)

[pinkmelodie]

The Red Means I Love You ❤︎

Summary: Jason Todd x fem!Reader. You and Jason used to date before you left to stay with the Titans. You both miss each other more than you’d like to admit, but stay out of contact. Fast forward to after he died, you encounter Redhood. Old feeling stir, and before you know it you’re bent over the motorcycle of someone you swore you’d leave in the past.

Warnings: Angst -> smut, 18+, p in v, unprotected s$x, mentions of death & terrorism.

A/N: This takes place right after s3ep2, right after they find out Redhood’s identity :3

You didn’t fully know what was happening; just that there were too many hostages in the building—all who would be killed if not evacuated immediately. You were about to run and help the rest of the titans get everyone as far away as possible before Kory pulled you aside.

You went to protest before she quickly interrupted you, “Go search for Jason.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Uhm, what?”

“Look, I have a feeling he’ll listen to you better than anyone.” she said. “Jasons not someone who can be brought down by force. Shit, he came back from the fucking dead, you think he’s gonna let us beat this new…phase out of him?” 

You wanted to argue, but Kory wasn’t someone who was wrong often. She had a good point, and you knew you had to follow it.

“We’ve got this under control,” she assured, resting a reassuring but firm hand on your shoulder. “Go.”

You were skeptical, especially when you could see Gar in the distance shaking in his boots trying to convince an old lady to let him help her down the steps, and citizens clearly getting whiplash from Connor moving them to safety too fast. Your team was…definitely something, but with some hesitance you finally turned and ran in the direction of the one member you wanted to see.

…

“Jason!” You called out, your voice echoing through the barren alley. Gotham was creepy enough already without walking in some sketchy, busted up route in the pitch dark.

You kept calling but the only response you got was your own voice echoing back to you. You tried to scratch your mind for something to say that could persuade him, but you came up blank. Guilt ate at your conscience when you remembered that you hadn’t spoken to him for months before he died. 

To be honest, Jason never had anyone in his life to begin with. He told you that along with all his other secrets, and you still broke his heart. 

You stayed with the titans, thinking he was being naive for not wanting to. You didn’t think about the fact they never once tried to help him, or ever see him as more than an immature kid. They didn’t have the energy to help Jason through his issues so they just abandoned ship, sending him right back to Bruce and his horrible coping mechanisms.

As much as you wanted to be angry at Dick, or Kory or really anyone else for letting that happen, you had to face that you played your part.

Jason Todd died alone. He died feeling like no one would miss him, like he was a failure of a Robin and a failure of a titan. Because even after everything, all he wanted to do was prove himself.

So, yeah. Admittedly the first words you chose to say were not a good idea. Probably should’ve seen that one coming, but you never were too good at comforting him. was anyone?

“It didn’t have to be like this, you can still come back to the titans!” You tried to coax him, almost immediately regretting it. You quickly shut your mouth, tho the damage was already done. You just prayed he wasn’t here—he didn’t need to be provoked into blowing your brains out. 

Only when your muscles stopped tensing and you thought you got lucky, a voice you couldn’t even recognize rumbled above you. It shot ice up your veins and you would’ve frozen in place if you weren’t so adiment on seeing him again.

“Still taking about the titans? Why am I surprised.” He taunted, tilting his head in a gesture so familiar it made your heart ache. When you spun around you were met with someone you couldn’t believe was really Jason. He was standing on some rusted fire escape, a steel red mask boring right through you. 

You tensed, but not out of fear. No, you could never be scared of Jason, not the same nerd who woke up early to make you breakfast or who secretly wore reading glasses. 

You debated messaging him for months after your breakup, paragraphs on paragraphs you never sent. You had so much to say to him before, so why now did your mind go blank?

It was hard to see what he was feeling with the mask, but you could tell he was expecting a snarky remark back. When you just stood there dumbfounded, he sighed. “Look, I’m done trying to prove myself to them. To Bruce, to everyone! I don’t have to be some fucking nobody y/n, and neither do you.”

Now that made you snap out of whatever trance you were in. “‘and neither do you’? What are you trying to do, advertise me the life of crime?”

He groaned, “I don’t know why I ever tried with you. The titans are just a bunch of fucked up people acting like one big happy family, is that what you wanted? Are you happy you made that choice?” He sneered.

There was malice in his tone, but it wasn’t real. he didn’t feel angry anymore, just betrayed.

He would’ve splayed his heart out for you on a silver platter if you asked, just for you to turn your back on him. You followed him in his dreams, haunted him every time he smelt a familiar perfume, even appeared behind his shut eyelids while the life drained out of him. You were a part of him, and from what he knew you’d never looked back when you stormed out that day.

That’s why it shocked him when tears started to well in your eyes. God, your eyes—the ones he would subconsciously buy clothes of in the same colour. “You could’ve came with me,” you whispered. 

Your meek tone broke something in him. His shoulders relaxed and in a blink he leaped down, knees bending upon landing on the hard ground in front of you. Seeing him like this; the mask concealing his identity, various weapons strapped to his thighs and seemingly more toned than the last time you saw him—you could understand why everyone was on edge.

He stood there motionless, a silent and intimidating presence before you. You both stood there in unbearable silence until finally, he lifted his mask off.

His features were lit beautifully by the dim street light, eyes glinting ever so slightly. He looked exhausted—more troubled now, but you knew, despite everything, this was Jason. Your Jason, not who he was manipulated into.

“No, I couldn’t have.” he muttered begrudgingly, “they made that very clear.”

“So what, you just become a terrorist? Is that your idea of solving your problems?”

His fists clenched in barely concealed anger. “Bruce couldn’t save Gotham, so he abandoned it. I’ll be the one to fix it.” 

“By running around in a new suit and planting bombs everywhere? Real great strategy.” You rolled your eyes, but started to blush when you stared at him too long in the plated suit that fit him perfectly. You quickly caught yourself ogling and looked away, assuming he wouldn’t catch the red tinge on your face. 

You don’t know how you ever thought he wouldn’t notice. Of course he noticed, it’s Jason Todd.

For fucks sake, the guy noticed every detail about you. The way you’d avoid eye contact when nervous, the pace of your blinking quickening when you were lost in thought, the slight heighten of your voice when you were excited about something. All these tiny things and you thought he just wouldn’t notice the way you eyed him down all red in the face?

Come on, you were basically writing your true feelings out to him in big, bold… ..red letters…

and it’s not like Kory ever specified exactly what to do once you found him… .. .

So that’s how you ended up bent against his motorcycle in some busted up alleyway, pussy spread open on his dick.

You gasped and clawed pointlessly at his covered back; nails clinking uselessly against the metal armour of his suit. 

Your own suit was pulled off just enough to get access to your cunt, panties pulled to the side so he could plunge his thick cock into you.

He was groaning more than he used to, and you could swear you even heard him whine. His pace was ruthless, thrusts messy but coordinated. He kept trying to push further inside you, pressing his body as close to you as possible like you would vanish at any moment. 

“Fuckfuckfuck-“ he rambled. Death heightened all of his senses—made things have so much more of an impact on him. Maybe he just missed you too much, or maybe he let himself forget how good you feel.

To be fair, you were far worse off than him. You would’ve alerted everyone in Gotham if he wasn’t covering your mouth with a gloved hand, though it’s not like anyone here would bat an eye to screaming.

“My poor baby just been lonely, s’that it?”He teased, manhandling you by your hips to meet his harsh thrusts. 

“Nobody to fill up this pretty hole like I do, such a shame,” he pouted in faux sympathy, as if he wasn’t balls deep at the moment.

“I’m back now. Fuck the titans, I’ve always treated you better, haven’t I?” He’s fucking your ability to form coherent words right out of your throat, but he knows your answer when you squeeze around him.

“Jay!” you moaned into his palm. Your cunt was squelching embarrassingly loud with each thrust, thighs shaking so hard you for sure would’ve fallen over if he wasn’t holding you up. Every drag of his cock in you hit the perfect spots, just like he remembered you love.

“You don’t even care that I’m red hood, do you?” he asked, his tone full of confidence. “Nah, you don’t. So fucking wet, does my suit get you off princess?” 

He moved his hand to play with your clit, getting it soaked with your fluids. You were too cock-drunk to lie bite back, just nodding desperately and mewling out something akin to a yes.

He smirked. “Pussys sucking me in the same too, fuck- I missed this. I missed you.”

He acted cocky when he was fucking you like this because it’s the only way he was sure you even wanted to be around him. Not much to complain about when his big dick is ravaging you, no?

Deep down he always felt right at home with you. He wouldn’t admit it, but he would give up red hood for you. He’d give up anything for you, actually. Nothing mattered as long as you were with him. And he wasn’t letting you go this time.

With the ministrations on your clit and him pounding into you, it wasn’t a surprise when that knot in your stomach came undone quickly. Especially not with how many failed orgasms you had with your fingers, pretending it was him.

Ever attentive, he noticed immediately. “You gonna come, baby? Try not to get any on the new suit.” He winked, as if you were gonna squirt for him. (You have, many times.)

The cherry on top was when he unexpectedly flipped his mask back down and leaned in to whisper right into your ear with that deep voice, “come for me”

And you were gone. You came with a cry of his name, eyes rolling back and toes curling. Your pussy gushed all over his dick, forming a white ring around it that you could see every time he slammed his hips.

Seeing your pretty face so euphoric was what sent him over the edge, and grudgingly he pulled out, pearly white cum shooting all over your stomach.

You spent a minute regaining your breath while he pressed gentle kisses all over your throat. He only let up when you whined at the slight pain of the pressure on your newly forming hickeys. He tucked himself back into his pants and re-adjusted his belt. You were wondering if he planned on just leaving until he took his coat off and wrapped it around you.

He moved you so you were set down properly on the back of his motorcycle and then stepped on. You instinctively laid against his back, resting your head on his shoulder and he admired you with pure adoration.

“Wrap your arms around me babe,” he hummed, affectionately rubbing your thigh that was pressed to his.

When your brain finally caught up to what was happening you gave him a confused look.“Wha- wait! Where are we going?” 

He looked at you like you were crazy for even questioning it. “Home,” he laughed, “what? Did you think death was gonna do us part, baby?”

[dorylinae-supremacy]

Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.

Rambles under cut!

I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.

They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.

Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us

Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme

Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)

I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.

I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.

Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though

Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now

Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.

I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.

She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.

Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.

I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.

Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.

He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.

[the-bleeding-weave]

Heres some miscellaneous tulpar crew headcanons :D

Anya

Shes 32 but gets mistaken for being older because she has dark circles under her eyes

She smokes regularly and its caused her voice to become deep and a little raspy, but still melodic and relaxing

Her favorite musicians are ethel cain, alex g, panchiko and neutral milk hotel. She loves atmospheric spooky music as well as melodramatic songs that have a story behind them.

Her favorite animals are bovines of any kind but she has a special love for bison

She grew up on a small farm in west virginia and has a soft spot in her heart for animals

She believes in some cryptids and swears up and down that shes seen a Not Deer in person. Growing up in Appalachia will do that to you

Daisuke loves listening to cryptid stories she knows

Shes seen some Freaky Shit while she was growing up, especially weird things with wildlife. She spent tons of her free time playing in the woods as a kid and has tons of creepy stories which caused her to become pretty superstitious

Shes half cherokee and japanese and likes engaging in her cultures a lot

One of her superstitions is that you cant whistle at night (she has 100% yelled at daisuke for doing it before)

She knows some navajo and a little bit of japanese

Her favorite movies are The Last Unicorn, Everything Everywhere all at Once, and Miss Peregrines home for Peculiar Children (she has a crush on miss peregrine)

She has a champagne colored 1999 toyota carolla that she loves dearly. His name is Frank and she regularly talks to him (mostly to keep herself from going insane from road rage but also just for fun)

Curly

His faceclaim is jensen ackles

Hes 35 years old and scouse/scottish

Hes a social drinker but only likes IPAs and indie craft beers, hes a tad pretentious about it but hes aware of it

He listens to a lot of dad rock and pop rock, like imagine dragons and aerosmith, but he also appreciates classic punk bands like rage against the machine. He has a guilty pleasure for Adele and his favorite song is "love in the dark" (he knows every single word to it by heart and sings it in the car)

He loves dramatic sappy love songs but hell never admit it

He had an emo phase in his teens that hes kinda embarrassed about. He got the classic swooped emo haircut and he repeatedly destroyed his curls with straighteners for YEARS. It took ages for his hair to recover

His favorite movies are The Green Mile and Interstellar

Hes intersex and hes very open about it, his pronouns are he/they but hell allow you to call him she/her if what youre gonna say is funny

He thrives on physical affection and LOVES giving hugs and patting people on the back. Hes very good at giving hugs too

He has a dark blue 2019 honda civic that he put a spoiler on just because it looks cool. He also got a sick sound system installed and loves just sitting in his car listening to music.

Jimmy (IF HE WAS A NORMAL PERSON AU)

Hes 34 and his face claim is Skeet Ulrich

He had an incel phase when he was an older teen/ in his 20s but grew out of it, now feels pretty embarassed about it but tries to teach other people how to avoid it

He has a modestly popular twitch channel where he plays games with guests (mostly curly and daisuke) and talks about life and mens issues, such as mental health awareness and self improvement (he hates the manosphere tho dont worry)

He likes debating right wing pundits and trolling the shit out of them

Him and anya are good friends even though he was an asshole to her in the past. He was super apologetic to her and since she saw he had changed a lot she accepted him back as a friend. (He did NOT assault her in this au he was just a misogynistic asshole)

He likes playing guitar and singing when hes alone

His favorite movies are the matrix and fight club and he will talk to you about breaking bad for HOURS

He has narcissistic personality disorder and tries to spread awareness about how its not just "The Disorder that Makes you Evil". Yes hes in therapy for it and tries to give tips to other people with npd about managing their disorder and being aware of how they treat other people

Hes able to do an eerily accurate impression of Dagoth Ur from Morrowind and loves saying out of pocket things with it

He has a red 2012 subaru forester that he pays no mind to. He has crashed 3 cars in the past tho, hes a terrible driver but refuses to admit it.

He never changes his oil, the check engine light has been on for months, and the rotors scream for mercy every time he so much as graces the brake pedal. Cars tremble in fear of this man.

Daisuke

Hes 22 years old, filipino, japanese, lao and mexican and takes a lot of pride in it

He was born in California but was raised with all of his cultures alongside american culture

Hes fluent in spanish and japanese but only partially fluent in vietnamese

He LOVES music and knows how to play guitar and the khaen

He listens to a lot of folk punk and takes inspiration from Harley Poe and Days n Daze. He makes his own songs but hes a little shy about playing them for people

He listens to tons of music genres but especially hyper pop, breakcore, jumpstyle, phonk, and parody stuff like lemon demon or weird al. He also has a special love for will wood (probably a small crush too)

He loves singing in groups and did it a ton on the tulpar, memorizing his favorite songs and playing them until the rest of the crew knew them too

It became a ritual that whenever daisuke was on his break hed get out his guitar and start up a song and anyone could join him in singing if they wanted. Anya and curly loved singing with him but jimmy only duetted the songs he really loved. Sometimes he would break out his own guitar to play with daisuke too

The favorite song to play for the whole crew was Psycho by harley poe and it even got swansea to join in as a backup baritone sometimes

They ended up really bonding over those duets and daisuke is really proud of that fact

Daisuke has a drivers license that he only recently got but he has no car

He loves getting stoned with anya and watching nature documentaries while they giggle at the stupidest things.

He cries pretty easily when he feels comfortable and safe with the people around him and hes trying to learn to be less afraid to show his emotions. Turns out, hes a VERY emotional person.

He cries easily if a song is especially beautiful and the one that never fails to jerk his tears is king park by la dispute, mainly the ending. He just adores the sheer power behind he vocals

His parents are really supportive but really want him to get out of the house and start his own life.

Swansea

Hes 60 years old and a proud italian new yorker/new jersey man

He sounds like a raspier tony soprano

He gambles causally but has a strict budget for himself

His favorite music is classic dad rock, some metal, jazz and blues but he especially likes frank Sinatra. Weirdly enough punk just isnt his thing

He has a wife named Andrea who he would literally kill for. Theyve been married for 30 years and they have 3 daughters

He drinks a lot of root beer. So much root beer.

He got arrested when he was 18 for punching a cop at a protest and beating the shit out of a nazi. He has his mugshot framed in his living room proudly.

He was a punk teen and he attended a lot of protests for queer rights and anti-police brutality. Now he doesnt really have the time for it but hes more than happy to give advice to young protesters and activists (wear a gas mask, conceal your identity, dont tell people youre going unless theyre going with you, and how to identity under cover cops)

His alcoholism started in his 20s and he got his shit together around his 30s but struggled on and off with addiction until finally going clean for 13 years straight

He loves white chocolate

He was actually like super model handsome when he was younger and is insecure about how alcoholism caused him to physically deteriorate (hes still handsome but he refuses to believe it)

Sopranos is his favorite show and he quotes it regularly

He has an old beat up 1997 ford f150 that he treats like a second wife and uses her to carry around his tools. He calls her bethany and gives her hood a pat before he gets in the driver seat every time.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[Spoilers below cut]

save me SMG4 episode save me

(the following is my live reaction:)

moo-stache moo-stache moo-stache

why do I feel like Pedro's going to be here?

"bruh Pedro was just a one-time thing." they literally killed off Mickey, ANYTHING can happen

KAIZO YOU'RE BACK HI

OMG please tell me someone from the Team saw this fan animation and put it in the episode as a nod to the animator, that would be awesome!!!

btw great fan animation, go check it out if you haven't [link]

YAYYYY, c'mon Mario you gotta spend time with your brother :)

also I need to find a playthrough of this game while I work

whoops my hand slipped [*makes 4 say "I should've chosen the USB over you, 3"*] :)

Hey Shroomy :D ....oh *western spaghetti flashbacks*

like seriously, I can't hear that audio the same way again

helicopter helicopter (copter)

oh hey swag *he fades away* NOOOOOO

well, digging did (mostly, sorta) help the last episode

OMG HI HI HI MY SILLIES

Three, why are you here if you think it's stupid? unless... 🫵 🏳️‍🌈⁉️

it's giving "I'm only here to support my boyfriend's interests", like I'm starting to believe that they truly are dating behind the scenes

they're on a date, your honor 💙💜

and there they go bickering again smh /affectionate

I'd like to think that ever since Four drives a forklift, that's just his method of transportation. screw the car, we're taking this baby out for a spin :)

Mario, you need to be ✨forklift certified✨

sorry, just Three's gayass poses give me life

actually yeah why is the line not moving?

the boys :)

also that walk animation tho

HOW LONG IS THIS LINE?!

also c'mon Three, show us your dance moves :D

oooooh that editing i love that

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING

now that they've mentioned it, why are there so many conventions happening at the same time? hmmmmm *game theory theme starts playing*

SMG3: "Maybe they're lining up to go to your mom's house. That line's usually pretty long." DAYUM THREE

"the line doesn't end" ayo wtf????

shroomy, you've eaten mushrooms before and you had no problem with that

....it really is the end of the world huh

ONE WEEK LATER?!?!?!?

"there is no end" "the end will come" me, sitting in the corner: hmmmmmmmmm

whelp, it's confirmed, I kin Four now

Three's not going coo co crazy, he's just vibin' :)

THIS IS WARRRRRR

this whole fighting scene omg it's SO good!

....WOTFI? ok no :P

AWWW THAT WAS ACTUALLY SWEET DUDE

CAN WE PLEASE GET A HUG? FOR ME SPECIFICALLY?

.... yeah uh Boopkins, you're going to have to explain what the hell you mean by that

not that it's surprising, we've been through a lot. just another Tuesday (or Saturday in this case)

MY HEART CAN'T TAKE ALL THIS FLUFF

HUG HUG HUG

THAT'S MY BOYS

RAVE PARTY [*dances*]

....sonic, is that you? sorry, my mind is still in the sonadow generations phase so I can't unsee them

:O wait, Boopkins, what did you mean by that?

MARTY?!?!? WTF

SMG4: "Don't worry, Mario. There's one way we can fix this." Beat the shit out of him...? YEAH I KNEW IT HAHA

*explodes*

and congrats to samgagmincho for your art featured at the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

This was a fun episode, I loved it!! Seeing my boys is always a plus and I appreciate the return of some side characters. With how the world is right now, I really needed this episode. So, thanks Team, for keeping my spirits up.

I just enjoyed watching my silly little guys doing silly little adventures. Traffic is a nightmare so I don't blame Mario in the slightest. Anyway, 3 and 4, how was your date? /silly

Can we just talk about the animation? It was so good!!! You really see the quality they put in, especially in that fighting scene. I didn't expect MARTY of all people to be the cause of all this. I honestly thought it was going to be a gag of something harmless just being in the middle of the road for no reason (like a turtle or smth) and the Crew being like "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" but NOPE, Marty was here and apparently A SORCERER?! I really shouldn't be surprised, what am I talking about here. And ofc the OG duo immediately beating the shit out of him is so fucking funny to me. He didn't die (I know that), but he's definitely going to be more relevant in the future.

...puzzlevision 2? ok I'm sorry

SMG4 show and jokes aside, I hope you all are ok. No matter what happens, we'll stick together. Don't give them the satisfaction that they want. You aren't alone, and we'll keep on fighting.

Going to be a Sonic fan here, Sonic 06 is famously known to be... augh. But there is a good moment with Shadow that I think is relevant now:

Mephiles (the villain of the game): "It's futile. The world will betray you. Why fight at all? Why risk your life for those who will persecute you later?" Shadow: "If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have."

Take care, my dear fellows, and I'll see you all in my next post!! Hmmm, there is "no end" [*game theory intro plays*]

[sketch-guardian]

Is it alright if I ask for all the RAD classmates with a child reader who’s kind of creepy

Like child mc wears maybe morute or Shiro Lolita and just doesn’t respond much, like everyone barely hears their voice because all they do is just stare and watch you with this creepy bear in their hands. It’s kinda like those creepy kids in horror movies

Of course it's alright✨there's no problem with such ask☺As usual, although I don't think there is any need to specify since it should be obvious, the headcanons with child MC are platonic and contain family dynamics, so the OCs in question are like child MC's legal guardians. Now let's start:

"RAD CLASSMATES+NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS WITH A CREEPY CHILD MC"

DEMYA

I'm not sure how to explain this without trigger warnings, but Demya in the past, and even currently depending on the case, has devoured both humans and other demons, she was also raised in a tribe of bloodthirsty and flesh-eating demons, therefore she can be defined as...occasionally cannibal and it's very unlikely that a mere creepy child like MC would actually manage to disturb her, indeed Demya would even find child MC cute like a doll or they would remind her a bit of herself when she was welcomed by Azul and Domnra a long time ago, barely able to speak, with disheveled hair, deadpan eyes and mouth dripping with blood. Furthermore, Demya would instinctively understand what child MC would try to mean even if they don't communicate much, having personally experienced a non-verbal phase for a period of her life. Demya would also believe that child MC's staring is equivalent to studying a prey before attacking, a little like an animal, behavior that makes sense to her, even if Demya is more impulsive. If child MC would like to, Demya could teach them how to run on all fours or train them to be flexible, which for her would be pretty fun, in fact it would be hilarious to see people like Mammon or Levi terrified running away from child MC who chases them like a spider-

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra has a fairly gothic/emo look so to speak, so although in terms of style it might seem at odds with child MC, he would appreciate the horror air that surrounds them, even if it would take him a while to get used to child MC's intense staring, which would sometimes make him uncomfortable. Domnra would have no problem understanding child MC's quiet way of communicating, used to Mobim expressing itself solely with gestures and squeaks, sometimes the three of them could even not speak at all and simply enjoy time together listening to some music or perhaps with some workouts, but very light things, like Domnra doing push-ups with Child MC and Mobim on his back. Furthermore, Domnra is still friends with Azul and Demya, which makes him automatically a dumbass, so in a rare playful mood, Domnra might find funny letting MC walk around with Mobim in their arms like a teddy bear, only to scare other people as soon as they realize the little curse moves and is alive. Speaking of which, Mobim would love to cuddle with child MC, not finding them creepy and it would play with their toys

AZUL

Azul floats around, walks through walls and some of his acquaintances are literally ghosts, plus he raised Demya when she was in her most uncivilized and feral state, so the silence wouldn't be a problem (he talks enough for both-) and child MC could never result disturbing for Azul, in fact since their clothing styles are similar, it could seem that they're trying to match or they could be really mistaken for a father with his child, which Azul wouldn't mind at all, he would find the opportunity to show off their family photos that he has in his wallet. Azul and child MC would go on little trips to haunted houses, he would also make their toys dance or float, and paint Victorian-style portraits of the two of them together. Would Azul make the pictures move to scare those who come to visit for shits and giggles? Obviously-

ZURI

Zuri would immediately notice child MC's peculiar behavior and that most would find it creepy, especially due to the intense staring and silence, however as long as child MC is healthy and happy, Zuri would pay no mind to it, she would also provide a plausible explanation to impertinent questions regarding MC's behavior. Zuri would be able to appreciate child MC's style and would contribute to the buying or weaving of clothes of their taste, then walking together through the streets of Devildom like two fashion icons. Zuri is the type to spoil child MC with gifts and trinkets, without exaggerating of course, but she would also make sure to decorate child MC's room to their liking. Moreover, Zuri would buy a notebook for child MC with which to communicate through writing or drawing

ODON

Odon involuntarily terrifies almost everyone they meet and their wide smile has often creeped out those around them. Odon has also been compared to the boogeyman several times and their past precedes them, instilling fear in beings who remember them, even though they have changed for the better, therefore a disturbing child MC would not even appear as such to Odon, on the contrary they would simply be surprised by the fact that child MC wants to spend time with them and that they aren't afraid, in a certain sense Odon could understand being judged for their own ways of acting. Odon likes to observe people as well, so them and child MC would share such hobby, spending time together. Odon's eye-like creatures would act as little bodyguards, understanding what child MC needs even before they attempt to communicate. Also Odon's style seems similar to dark cottagore, but they don't have a clear opinion on styles, whatever child MC likes is fine

REMIEL

Remiel, as an angel of death with little experience with the world of the living, has no idea what according to human custom is normal or not for a child and is hardly impressed by what people would deem scary, in general she's still slowly learning feelings and how to experience or show them, so she would treat child MC as she would any other child. Child MC's habit of staring at people would be fine for Remiel, because she also likes to learn how the world works and to do so sometimes you have to limit yourself to observing. Not gonna lie, a creepy child MC with Remiel, who looks as a corpse-like angel of death, would be disturbing to almost anyone, a real shame since both Remiel and child MC are innocent precious treasures. Despite her somber and gloomy nature, Remiel is very empathetic, although blunt, therefore she would understand when child MC tries to communicate. Remiel and child MC could occasionally be seen together wandering around libraries or graveyards to check if there are lost souls to help

NATHANIEL

Nathaniel in some ways wouldn't be too different from this version of child MC, both being taciturn and seemingly stoic enough to give off creepy vibes. Nathaniel would have boundless patience with child MC when they try to express themselves in words and if someone dared to interrupt them in the process, Nathaniel would politely but firmly remind that child MC was talking and would let them continue with some soft encouragement and reassurance. Nathaniel would probably teach child MC his way of communicating through gestures and nods, going so far as to understand each other even with just a glance, making others wonder if they are actually having a conversation telepathically. Nathaniel would also find child MC's style curious, almost reminding him of how some young angels dress

URIEL

The warrior angel would have no idea whether child MC's behavior is normal by human standards or what is typically creepy, however the question she would ask herself most frequently would be why child MC bothered to become attached to her, someone who doesn't have a very understanding attitude, but Uriel would be able to live with the idea with time. Uriel wouldn't care if child MC stares at her or other people, she doesn't know that it's usually rude and she honestly thinks it's just child MC's way of admiring those they deem worthy of esteem and their way of dressing would remind Uriel of the concept of purity, which she would approve of. Uriel might seem harsh sometimes as she would try to push child MC to speak more often, since she wouldn't know how to interpret all their actions, however if she notices that child MC risks withdrawing even more, then Uriel would swallow her pride and make an effort, taking advantage of her years of experience with Nathaniel to communicate better. It would also be quite funny to see Uriel believe that child MC's teddy bear is a strange unpractical soft shield at first and give them a wooden toy sword after, because it's unsafe to go unarmed

[ipostwhatiwant1202]

As a Dad: Leo Edition

note: hey everyone! happy Ramadan, happy Easter, happy Passover, happy Vaisakhi, happy Hanuman Jayanti, happy Mahavir Jayanti, and happy days to secular folks! i hope you all are having a safe holiday.

Authoritative

• there isn't much that we all collectively agree on more about leo than the fact that he's somewhat of a bossy dude

• that being said, he does mellow out in his older years and becomes more laid back...then he had children (biologically by some miracle or by adoption)

• he read every single baby book he could get his hands on but then they went out the window when he realized that parenting is nothing like what they say in books

• the 0-8 month phase wasn't so bad, his sleep schedule is wonky so mostly he's up with the baby. he's very calm, very soft spoken, and gentle with the baby when they're fussy cause they can't communicate

• bath schedule, eating schedule, sleep schedule, the man has schedules people.

• absolutely loves bath time cause he's the dad who will put the bubbles on his head to make the kid laugh (i dont make the rules)

• loves the pre-walking stage the most cause you just put them on the floor and let'em roll and crawl in a confined space

• lord help this man at the walking and talking stages

• he tries to get your kid to talk but all the kid wants to do is scream so..there's that idea gone

• when the kid wants to run around naked while leo's trying to get the diaper back on, now that is where he gets tested cause that little shit-

• incredible amount of patience though, especially with tantrums. splinter never raised his voice at him as a kid until he became a teen, so he wanted to carry that on with his own children

• now when your kid hits the 3-8 stage, oh boy. if leo could go grey, he would be grey.

• he tries to teach your child discipline and respect, and while your kid is respectful, unfortunately they have leo's sharp tongue and makes it everyone's problem

• leo believes in time outs or taking things away as punishment. he doesn't believe in spanking and thinks yelling accomplishes nothing. he does get a certain tone that makes it known he means business

• he knows full well your child is going to make mistakes and creates a safe environment to where your kid can come to him when this does happen without much punishment

• but we all know that's a perfect world and if it's leo's kid, their mouth is going to be their downfall

• he thought the 3-8 stage was bad until ages 13-17, oh boy.

• puberity is not on leo's side here

• grounding becomes more of a ritual and leo runs a tight ship. he will hold his grounding opinion until he thinks it should be lifted, no matter how long it takes

• of course your kid is also a ninja so sneaking out is a thing (leo can't get too mad cause he did the same but "do as i say and not as i do" is leo's famous line)

• reasonable parent and thinks carefully about how severe a punishment should be or if the circumstance really even calls for one

• chores, bedtime until they hit around 13, the kid must have at least an A/B average, a C is acceptable if the subject is particularly hard and the kid is trying their best

• dorky dad. just a dorky dad.

• dad sneezes

• doesn't strike me as a girl dad or boy dad cause he's so attentive no matter the gender

• he's the dad that doesn't call it babysitting cause it's his kids

• he will get down on the floor and play with his kids

• has a little girl? no problem dressing up and letting her do his makeup and nails

• has a little boy? wrestling and rough housing it is

• kid(s)will be respectful and smart, and just very genuinely nice kids

• kid(s)'ll also deck someone with no hesitation

• vegetables are non-negotiable

• very proud man when it comes to his children and never hesitates to praise them

• the children will each have special nicknames

• he's not the fun parent but is also not not the fun parent

• never misses an event, even though he has to attend in the shadows. he is always there

• affectionate dad, more verbally than physically, but he gives your kids head kisses all the time

• as long as the kids aren't trying to kill each other and are just playing, the noise doesn't bother him much...it's the silence that does

• definitely the type of dad to send 👍

[cornyonmains]

I finally got around to watching X-Men '97. It was better than it had any business being, and I'm just so disoriented.

Episode one. Almost immediately you know they've got someone on the deck who knows how to hide gay shit, because one of the first things you see is Gambit in a crop top.

So, Charles is MIA, but he put Magneto in charge. He rolls up on the mansion looking like a whole-ass Herbal Essences commercial. Him, Rogue, and Gambit spend most of the season in horny jail, and I'm just sayin' Krakoa can have more than one threesome but I digress.

Morph is thirsting hard for Logan. There's a brief scene where they're going to troll him in the shower that looks like something I read on Joe Phillips' website in 2003.

Scott Summers has finally gotten his day. He's still so tightly wound you could use him to launch a cotton ball through Wolverine's skull, but you finally get to see him be as good as he is in the comics. They had him ice skating around with his beams, doing figure eights before he ass blasted sentinels into next week. Bishop was there, he ass blasted them back to the current week to avoid a paradox.

There's a scene where Scott tells Logan not to break Jean's heart. We all know what's going to happen on Krakoa. I did not miss that shit.

Where's Storm you ask? In horny jail with Forge. In the desert. Fighting demons and horseback riding. Jubilee? Locking down a sugar daddy and finally having her powers developed.

And all this isn't even going over the plot, which is genuinely good, and deals with heavy subject matter such as discrimination and genocide in heavy tones that don't condescend, instead of that after school special kind of tone cartoons that aren't specifically geared towards adults often have. The kids watching are going to hate the villains passionately instead of just finding themselves waiting for the X-Men to save the day.

Did I mention Magneto's fabulous hair yet? It looks like what would have happened of Fabio had believed it wasn't butter. Or if Farrah Fawcett found that flower from Tangled. He looks like he's having the kind of sex you read about in dogeared copies of Lost Souls during your teenie goth phase.

I wish I knew how to take things seriously enough to give this show the review it actually deserves, but I'd get two paragraphs in and decide I want to play Scribblenauts instead. Anyways, my point is, watch the show.

[alpineshift]

an incomplete list of professions I'm putting jacknico into in my ongoing kit of ‘what if one of them weren’t an NHL player, how will they meet and what would their relationship be like?’

Jack's a hockey player (and most definitely wearing the C):

Corporate Nico who's Jack's neighbour and is incredibly disgruntled by Jack's weird hours and occasionally noisy af team gatherings at his place.

Working points include Nico being politely huffy and Jack always running out on their arguments bc he's going to be late for practice

Jack's incessant need to sing in the shower and Nico constantly overhearing him bc they share a wall (amongst other accidental noises)

At some point Nico wins some kind of corporate recognition prize for his Hard WorkTM and it's...VIP Devils tickets. And a meet and greet with the captain AKA his own neighbour that he regularly beefs with. Imagining Jack finding out it's Nico before the game and gets a dick trick that night out of spite? The unrelenting desire to show off a bit for his grouchy hot neighbour? And Nico has to begrudgingly admit Jack played really well

At some point also maybe Jack's out on IR and Nico just. Accidentally-not-really looks after Jack bc they "dislike" each other, but he doesn't want Jack to actually suffer. Classic finally getting to know each other phase iykyk

Suit designer Nico, who's introduced to Jack through one of the Swiss guys and begins to exclusively style Jack over the course of his years as a Devils player

Jack having to get suits resized and custom made every year bc his ass is incredible and Nico is not immune to said ass

Nico is always complimenting his figure and Jack is losing his mind bc he's obsessed but also firmly believes Nico is just being so professional

Jack always flexing his suits online with flirty captions and tags Nico and Nico has such a crush but also firmly believes Jack just really appreciates his work and this is His PersonalityTM

At some point after they get together Nico designs the WAG playoff jackets and Jack tells him he has to make one for himself too. Cue blushing.

Kindergarten teacher Nico who simply Does Not Care for hockey (or hockey players) who has to host the Devils school visit for his kids

The kids adore the players. Especially Jack, who is very good with the kids. He's super sweet and very engaged and stays late hanging out with them

Obligatory Jack chatting/being flirty with Nico and asking who his favourite player on the Devs is. And Nico going "Honestly I think I prefer football." And Jack's all oh! I also love watching football with my brothers at UMich-- and Nico's like "European. European football."

Luke just about killing himself laughing watching Jack try and fall flat on his face again and again while he attempts to flirt with Nico

But now that Nico's met Jack it feels like a dam has been opened and Nico is somehow seeing Jack everywhere. Grocery store. Harbourfront parking lot. Bus stop ads. Farmer's market. On his goddamned uber eats app promo. He can't escape.

One of Nico's students draw him and Jack together and point it out to him going "Are you guys getting married?" and Nico is like...at this point, who knows. I am at the universe's mercy

Just cutesy goodness everywhere. This is such an overdone trope and I love it.

Also - continuation of the reporter!Nico AU why not

Also just them fucking nasty in this AU cause why NOT.

Nico's still Captain of the Devils. Jack's doing other Hot Girl Shit:

Classic Michigan cottage owner/renter Jack who hosts Nico once during bye week and suddenly Nico is making time during the offseason every year to visit

Beautiful potential for there to be "Jack almost became an NHL player too but didn't bc of xyz reason" and it gets angsty

I imagine Quinn and Luke still play in the NHL but the dots literally never connect for either of them Nico doesn't mention he plays professionally for the NHL and Jack doesn't keep up with anything hockey except for his brothers' stats and to know they're not injured

Summer romance clichés everywhere. Nico catching sight of Jack sunbathing all the time, boating everywhere. Minor problem at the cottage and Jack comes over to fix it, impressing Nico. Nico talking about Switzerland and just really endearing Jack to him.

When Jack eventually warms up to Nico he invites Nico out to the town summer festival and it's not not a date. But let's just say Nico doesn't wake up in his own cabin later that night.

Also potential for the worse blowout fight when Jack does realize who Nico is. Angst! Angst!!

Will Jack ever go to see Nico play a game or will he hide away from the hockey sphere forever? Will they ever forgive each other? Stay tuned

Tennis player!Jack

I halfway jokingly assigned Jack to tennis during the Olympics and now even if it's short I want him to compete in it and I want Nico to sit in the stands with his shades on and cheer Jack on in the offseason. That's it, really.

Indulgent idea of novelist Jack being the author of Nico's favourite book series

Maybe it's a series Nico started reading when he was younger, but went on hiatus bc Jack took a break

It comes back in full swing when he's Captain now and it's Nico's go-to road trip series. He gets a full secret profile on like an online bookclub to enthusiastically yap about it

Meanwhile Jack is a secret Devils fan - fave player #13 - and has a burner twitter acct where he gushes about how good of a player Nico is online.

I didn't think super ahead in this au but I'm sure they will somehow cross confusing paths at some point. I just want book nerd Nico and enthusiastic online fan Jack.

ALSO. What else could be said about underwear model Jack AU?

Becks has to nurse his forbidden knowledge for like an entire season until Luke sits him down one day and goes "Buddy. It's fine. It's not that big of a secret" and Becks is like oh thank god. I thought my head was going to implode. And Luke is like "However if you do sell Jack and Nico out to the media I will be preemptively ending your career. But you're a good kid, so I'm not worried. Anyway, nice chat!" And Becks is about to shit himself.

Side note - for a while I did not realize there was a Becks on the devils LOL

Or - this time Nico is the one who gets papped with a guy and it's not immediately recognizable as Jack (he cut his hair for a shoot or something) and the rookies are besides themselves thinking Nico is cheating on Jack or something (assuming at some point they also learn the truth). It's shenanigans.

An eventual boyfriend reveal? To put the rookies out of their misery? Jack finds the whole thing hilarious.

[plusvanity]

hey i'm curious to know what you think would happen if varg and marie broke up? i love reading your opinions <3

Well, first thing first, I don't think that they will ever break up. She is too well 'programmed', so to speak (it is sad) to see the world through her own eyes and realize the dubious choices that she made for both her and her children. However, exploring the wishful (unrealistic) thought that she would ever want to get away from Vikernes, this is how I see things:

Starting over again with 7 children is something that I can't even imagine how hard it is, plus the long-lasting emotional damage. You're left with no security, most times no financial support and no stability for what the future brings. Unfortunately, this is one of the crude reasons why many women would rather stay in an unsatisfying marriage that can even become toxic. She would have a hard time adapting to society (if she would ever consider that) and an even harder time to raise her offspring who had little to no real-world connection.

Now, what would happen with him would make a great documentary (half kidding).

Entering a narcissist's mind, you can tell with accuracy that his whole world would break down. Why? Because he invested every resource he had to make her be the wife that he wanted her to be. The process of grooming started quite early when she was still a child (16 if I remember correctly). The first thing people like him do is love-bombing, making their romantic interest feel like they are entirely perfect and the best candidate for them. This phase is ameliorated in time as routine and familiarity set in as well as boredom. Narcissists get bored so quickly if they are not simulated constantly, especially cerebral narcissists like how Vikernes seems to be.

Varg can have all the attention and admiration in the world, but if his prime source of narcissistic supply leaves him, he will suffer the greatest ego injury/ collapse of all times. Don't believe me, look up this phenomenon, and educate yourself.

Men like Varg have a very fragile ego that is protected by these alloplastic defenses (he searches for ways to manipulate the environment and people around him to meet his goals, he never works on himself. In fact, his personality issues are very resistant, almost immune to change. This is why you won't see narcissists in therapy. They are just perfect, everything is 'wrong' with the world.) These defenses are automatic and their role is to put a barrier between the real world (the concept of failing) and the fragile ego.

These men are highly neurotic, highly insecure on their own masculinity, poorly adaptive, highly dependent on people's perception of them (the irony is that narcissists come off as 'independent' most of the time), so Marie has the role of an emotional regulator for him. She is his biggest supporter, his cheerleader, his endless fountain of admiration and affection. She is his 'mother'.

I remember one time reading one of her Tweets in which she praised him for repairing their roof, literally making a post about something that everyone can do, especially men in a traditional marriage. I genuinely believe that Varg can't do shit around the house and Marie is the only one hard-working every day. Varg makes a cringy post every 2 hours, so I'm inclined to think that he stays inside most of the time and plays videogames. After all, that's how he enjoys life, he said on his blog that he doesn't want to work. Then, I remember a video that he made about repairing their fence and it was so 'interesting and applaudable as if he built a brick house on the spot. This is pathetic especially because he calls himself such a manly, primitive, strong, smart, (insert whatever adjective he wishes to be) man.

I have no doubt that what he thinks he does useful for his family's life he indeed believes it is useful and his wife praises him, keeps boosting his fragile ego all the time to keep the 'harmony' intact. This is such a common thing actually.

Marie is like his mother in a twisted way. The mother that is engaged with him, the mother that pays attention to him and loves him unconditionally, the mother who has an only child, the mother he never had. If she abandons him, it's all over. The shared fantasy, the 'we against the would' delusion, the perfect lie, everything is over.

I believe he would beg her to stay because contrary to popular opinions, narcissists do love (in a sort of twisted way), get attached to people just like little children do (mentally they rarely evolve beyond the age of 4-5 and Varg is not that miracle) and they cannot admit that they failed in life.

He made children with her, assured that they had just enough aspects that would keep them bound forever for the rest of their lives, and made her fall in love with a grandiose but ultimately a false image of a husband so she cannot leave him because without her he is nothing. This is not my brave assumption, this is the literature about narcissists' minds.

Would he find another wife, all the process will repeat, but I think that he would become even more paranoid about betrayal and more careful (cold) from then on. Would he try not to make the same mistake again, he will remain alone, tell the world that there is no good left in his 'kind' and become ever worse of a contemporaneous clown than he is now (which is hand to imagine but possible if given the right context).

In a way, Marie keeps him from being worse because she gives him the confidence that he desperately needs, affirms his atrocious opinions and loves him like she loves the rest of her children.

Edit: important disclaimer

I do not talk down the narcissistic personality disorder. Varg is an isolated/extreme case of malignant narcissists, and what I think about him does not apply to how I think about other people in this spectrum. There are characteristics that apply to all NPD individuals, and there are characteristics that apply to a smaller population.

No mental disorder justifies the inappropriate and literally dangerous behavior of some individuals. But the meant disorders can help identify the mentality behind a particular behavior.

I'm well aware that there are many people in the NPD community work on healing themselves, are mindful of their own behavior and are genuine.

Getting better and being the best version of yourself is the most honorable and responsible approach.

[kankuroplease]

hello! i must say, i adore your work! and how are you?? how would the uchiha brothers be as fathers? <3

Thank you! I’m doing alright, I hope you’re doing well 🖤

Disclaimer: I’ll reject canon events for fun and also because I strongly believe most of the canon Uchiha’s would be great papas

Sasuke

Starting controversial here

Him not seeing or spending time his child for years?? Nope. I reject the notion, IMMEDIATELY

Idk who that man is in Burrito, but Sasuke would be there for his kid while still “redeeming himself” not that he should have to but that’s another argument for another day that I don’t feel like having

He’s a damn UCHIHA that can basically TELEPORT like?? So you just want to do him that wrong for what? Whyyyy

Anyways, probably has a special stuffy he swaps places with in the kid’s nursery

It’s a whole magic trick to his child that never gets old

zip zap, daddy’s home and baby is giggling, reaching for him

Not saying he’d wake them up on purpose if he arrives and they’ve fallen asleep

But he’d definitely try to hold their hand and poke their cheek a little and would chuckle to himself when they furl their brows

Looking like him when they do that

This man has no clue what he’s doing at first tho

Babies are complicated and he’s never had to be delicate with someone like this, help?

He’s not going to actually ask for help, just look pleadingly at his partner or Itachi

He doesn’t baby talk his child and would discourage the others from doing it

Once the child is out of the baby baby phase. He’s got this

Will talk to them about their ‘so bad it’s cute’ art and want to hear about all their little ideas

Nearly cried when they said “your the best, dad ever” because he doesn’t agree but at the same time his kid doesn’t care about his flaws

Takes said artwork with him on missions along with his favorite photo of them

Will have beef with a 5 y.o. If he hears they’ve mistreated his kid. That little shit, Kabocha smh

Itachi

Gentle father

He takes to being a parent so naturally that you would swear he’s done it before

His kid will always come first, which might (will) be a problem for his any of his work

But assuming he’s left the Akatsuki, he’s raising his family in the countryside

Lots of family time and forehead pokes

Cuts their food up until they’re old enough to tell him to stop he’s crushed

If his child gets scared because of thunderstorms, he’d let them sleep in his bed. Might even give them a pleasant genjutsu filled with all their favorite activities to ease their worries and help them sleep

And speaking of his abilities; his sharingan? Yeah, he’s comparing their height to Sasuke’s when he was little

Will join them in their silly adventures. Lizard watching? Why not

Let’s them get away with almost anything

And that’s exactly how they would end up with a bunch of cats and chickens

He’d regret a lot of his actions in the past and that would make disciplining them tough

Hates being away from them because he feels he’s going to miss something important

Madara

All those brothers were training material, he’s beyond ready to meet his child and hold them

From day one he’s so proud of them

That first cry filled him with so much pride

His partner is definitely going to have to ask him to give them the baby

He’s going to brag about this child, his heir, future leader of the Uchiha no one can tell him otherwise

His partner will find him knocked out with their little one resting on his chest with a bunch of rolled blankets and pillows around them on nights they’re particularly fussy

They want ups, they’ll get ups and he’ll carry on with his conversation

Seriously the only man that can get his nose honked by his child in the middle of a conversation with Hashirama and act like nothing happened

Can’t help but prank his kid a bit. He can’t help himself

Definitely let the kid play with a blunt kunai before. “What? They like it.”

He takes taming their hair on skillfully if they inherited his fluffy mane

He’s not going to coddle them but if they get hurt running about, he’ll help them up and dust them off before ruffling their hair and giving them a small nod

They got this, they’re HIS child after all

Teaches them how to play shoji so they can hone their strategy skills

If they want to cry to him about their blues, he’ll listen, but he also wants them to think of how they can change what’s bothering them

Gives them exactly one warning before the kid gets to learn the hard way

Fully for letting kids be kids

But also a “did you win?” Father. Fights happen, but as the clan leader’s child, they shouldn’t be losing fights

Would snag and carry them like a sack home if they were causing problems around town

While loving parenthood, He secretly would hate them going on their first mission. He’s going to basically quiz them on different scenarios and push them in their training

If he thinks they’re not ready, he’ll tell them as much he’s also going to go to Hashirama to make sure they actually have a team that can make sure his child doesn’t die on their first mission. But shh

Kid gets a little sweetheart they’re stealing kisses around the village with? He’s disgusted

they’re still wet behind the ears wtf kid could be 18 and he’s still not going to like it

Izuna

This man was in denial that he was going to be a father until he was holding his child and was like “woah”

He’s nervous around the baby

Take it, QUICKLY

He’d warm up to them immediately once they look at them

Thinks they look hideous tho. Sorry, kid

He’ll watch as they’re changed and fed, wondering how tf these things survive when they’re so fragile

Sort of a worrywart and extremely selective of who gets to hold his kid

Smiles really warmly when his kid smiles at him

The excitement he feels when they take their first steps surprises even himself

He’s having to question who this excitable person he’s morphing into

They are the best dressed kid and he makes sure of it

Also makes sure they’re keeping up with Madara’s kids in their training

Brings them treats regularly as they grow up

Tells his kid that they are better than others

And DO NOT speak to his kid if you have a problem, speak to him directly. Unless you want a bigger problem

Don’t think for a second his child wouldn’t be his minion

They will collectively diss people over dinner and laugh about it💀

Tells them stories of when the Uchiha were rightfully leaders in their own rights before this whole Konoha BS

Uncle Madara is great, but he’s still not on board with this plan

He will coddle them a bit. It’s not that he’s trying to necessarily, he just cares too much and can’t bring himself to not protect them from everything

As long as he’s breathing he will personally insure that they’re safe at all cost

Inari

Also can’t believe he’s going be a father, but he’s excited

Very prepared for parenthood

He’s taken advice from clan elders and has a naturally warm relationship with his child

Makes them eat healthy all the time

Reads to them regularly

Loves taking them out for walks and beans with pride any time someone compliments his kid

Believes education is important and reinforces a love of learning

Genuinely gets concerned about the friends they surround themselves with

Accepts that they are their own person quickly

Teaches them basics of making medicine and how to identify herbs

Tenko

He’s talking to his kid before his partner is even showing, he’s that excited

Will poke any foot or hand he sees pushing out from said baby bump because he thinks it so amazing and a little funny when they “fight” back

He would NOT sit outside and wait for the birth like most men of the time

Yes, he will argue with a midwife or two, his partner needs him and he needs to be their

tears of joy for their new baby

Love at first sight. his kid is perfect in his eyes no matter how they arrive

Lots of kisses to their sweet little temples, hands, and feet

Thanks them for choosing him as their father and promises he’ll make their life full of laughter and love

Definitely the dad that has to carry/wear his baby everywhere

Plays with them all the time

Definitely made friend with some Aburame and Nara to make sure they have butterflies access and fun shadow access

His get will get told all the fun fairytales and get a dramatic reenactment of them as he’d dress up as one of the characters

Let’s them splash their heart out in puddles

If his kid gets sick, he’ll probably get sick too from cuddling them to sleep

Gets a little emotional when they outgrow certain things and activities

This kid has the ultimate accomplice; Tenko is not going to tattle on his kid if they didn’t do anything wrong. Heck, he is more likely to help them get away with it

Cheers for them the loudest during their training with other kids

Kota

Having a kid brings out his softer side

But send help

He’s clueless and knows he’s clueless

He’s seen battlefields and those didn’t make him nearly as nauseous as blowouts and spit up do

Is genuinely afraid he’s going to mess this kid up, so seeks advice from his brothers

He’s not very interested in trying to hold them as a newborn, but will hover over his partners shoulder to look at them

Most likely to laugh if the kid snores because, what is that?

Takes pride in his kid

Dad jokes

Another one that will have beef with a child on his kid’s behalf

Takes his time to try and understand their POV on matters

But still might argue with them if he doesn’t agree. However he will always apologize

Can’t stand seeing his kid cry and will do just about anything to cheer them up

Wants his kid to be a bit more bold than he was as a child and encourages them to speak up for themselves

He leans on the tough love side of parenting as they reach their teens if they want to act out

[rosypenguins]

Day 13! Jomies Headcanons! (I got quite a few!)

Jake:

💛Unironically listens to boy bands.

💛Has Spotify open 24/7. Is always looking for new artists and songs, and probably has over 3000 songs liked.

💛He’ll listen to any song of any genre, but tends to lean more towards alt-rock.

💛Used to listen to Billie Eilish in Middle School.

💛Whenever it’s too quiet, he’ll either hum to himself or make random noises with his mouth.

💛Physically incapable of standing still.

💛Probably ate an eraser as a kid.

💛Does not believe in closets. Keeps his clothes either on the floor or in his chair. (If it’s in his closet he’ll genuinely forget he even owns the item.)

💛”Processing your emotions? What the hell’s that?”

💛Oh yeah, he definitely has ADHD.

Drew:

🖤Really likes FPS games.

🖤Always has to have his weight shifted on one leg. He cannot stand up straight to save his life. (Heh cuz he’s gay-)

🖤Small waist. (He’s a twink in my eyes.)

🖤Could probably be picked up by the other Jomies. (Has yet to be tested due to safety concerns.) (The concerns being Drew beating the shit out of them.

🖤Doesn’t like black coffee but drinks it anyways. (Why? We don’t know.)

🖤TERRIBLE eating habits. He’ll literally just have a piece of toast and be like “welp that’ll last me for the next 48 hours.”

🖤Those hot-pink girly desserts are his guilty pleasure.

🖤Listens to a lot of rap music. Mostly emo rap. He says it’s cuz it sounds cooler but it’s actually because he finds the lyrics relatable.

🖤Stalks Jake’s instagram for purely platonic reasons.

🖤Doesn’t know how to show affection so he’ll sometimes just randomly punch Jake in the arm. No warning, no explanation.

🖤Cat person. Doesn’t really like dogs. (Terrified of Oreo but would rather die than admit it.)

🖤Bullies cats relentlessly, but will also meow back at them if he thinks no one’s around.

🖤Likes being cuddled way more than he’d like to admit.

🖤Having his hair played with puts him right to sleep.

🖤Struggled to make friends in Elementary school due to his temper. (His lack of attention at home led to him lashing out a lot.) Other kids found him to be intimidating so Drew didn’t really have any friends until Middle School.

🖤Was put in time-out a LOT in Kindergarten so it basically just became Drew’s Corner.

🖤IPad kid. Definitely had a mascot-horror phase when he was 10.

🖤“Processing your emotions? What the hell’s that?”

🖤Oh yeah, BPD. He has BPD.

Liam:

❤️Hands are always fucking clammy it cannot be helped.

❤️Definitely listens to Breakcore.

❤️Has a bunch of those weird, perverted anime stickers somewhere in his desk drawer because he thinks they’re funny. (They were included in a random anime sticker pack Henry bought online.)

❤️Had a super edgy werewolf OC back in Middle School. Drawings of it still exist in that same drawer.

❤️Lets Henry play with his hair when they’re alone together.

❤️Refuses to use chairs properly.

❤️Has so many 0.5 photos of the Jomies. (Except Drew because Drew threatened to break his phone if he ever took one of him. But Liam still managed to sneak a few bad photos of Drew as well.)

❤️Type of guy to moan when someone’s on the phone with their parent.

❤️Knows how to drive a manual. (I imagine his mom’s car is an older one soooooo if Liam wanted to drive around he had to learn.)

Henry:

💚Baby face. (Liam likes to hold his face.)

💚Wears anime merch with pride.

💚Pretends to be a girl online sometimes so people give him free shit.

💚Almost always hits Drew with the 🤓 emoji anytime he says something smart/logical in their group chat.

💚Would definitely like matcha because it tastes like g r a s s.

💚He ate grass as a kid. And leaves. And dirt.

💚The type of kid that always had to be the dog in any game he played.

💚Really likes bunnies. He held one once and felt his life was complete.

💚Oh, and frogs too. He loves frogs.

💚Typically takes the role of mediator during fights, even if he has no context on the situation.

💚Relies way too much on being funny. If a joke doesn’t land he genuinely hates himself for a couple seconds.

💚Sensitive to loud noise. (Unless the loud noise is on his terms.) (Like, he’ll have his music on full blast and shout at his friends standing right next to him and be completely fine, but if a balloon were to suddenly pop right beside him, it’d startle him quite a bit.)

💚Drew glaring at him and telling him to shut up hurts a little more than he’d like to admit.

💚Probably also has ADHD.

Zoey:

🩷This bitch knows how to steal shit. You got a necklace she likes she will find a way to take it.

🩷Can and will find a way to make everything said against her about her gender.

🩷“Oh my God, I am LITERALLY just a girl.”

🩷Definitely took dance for a P.E credit.

🩷Almost everything she owns is covered in flowers.

🩷Everything has to be aesthetic.

🩷Always had to initiate any sort of affection between her and Drew. She was always the one asking him out. Always the one to kiss him first, or reach for his hand. (Whereas Drew never really thought about that sort of stuff.)

🩷Her views on relationships were also very different from Drew’s. She wanted excitement and fun. She wanted to go out and do things. And whenever they were home alone, she wanted to make out with him and stuff, meanwhile, all Drew wanted to do was cuddle and watch stupid videos on his phone with her. (But she just found that boring.)

🩷Honestly, their best dates were their at-home ones. Where they’d watch movies together and Zoey would bring some face masks and they’d pamper each other and cuddle and whatnot. (Fun for Zoey and relaxing for Drew.)

🩷And because of their height difference, Zoey would sometimes grab Drew’s collar and pull him down to her level to kiss him. (And this definitely never once flustered Drew.)

🩷Probably knew Drew cared more about Jake than he did her and that pissed her off.

Lia:

💜Big fan of Olivia Rodrigo. (And one time, while her and Drew were waiting for the others after school, she was listening to one of her songs and singing along, and Drew ended up correcting her on a lyric, causing her to realize he ALSO listens to her music, and he was super embarrassed about it afterwards and made her promise not to tell anyone.)

💜So anyways Lia now wants to take Drew to an Olivia Rodrigo concert.

💜She’s also a big fan of Nessa Barrett.

💜Surprisingly really good at singing. She never took lessons or anything, she just sings in the shower a lot.

💜Sprays perfume on herself like 50 times in a day.

💜Always comparing herself to people online.

💜“Self-esteem? What’s that?”

💜Genuinely could not describe herself if she was asked to. She’s so used to changing herself for others she doesn’t even know who she is or what she wants to be.

💜Imposter Syndrome 100%

💜Had a huge crush on Hailey in Middle School but didn’t even know being gay was a thing so she didn’t really know how to explain her feelings at all.

@31days-of-freakblr

[kissesinthemist]

Modern! Meadowlark Headcanons (Cole Edition)

(I decided to separate the characters because I have a lot to say about each of them and if I did them all in one post it would be extremely long)

• They would be known as the quiet awkward kid in school. People think they’re nice but nobody besides the Lark knows them well. A little bit of a mystery

• Probably in a club or two (most likely music and/or drama) but they don’t interact much with the other members unless absolutely necessary or it’s approached first (They’re too shy to approach first)

• If they were in Drama, it would rarely audition for a part in a play. They mostly work backstage as a sound designer or design set pieces

• Wouldn’t like horror movies. They don’t enjoy the violence and gore. Also not a fan of movies depicting war or end of the world type shit

• Huge book worm. They would spend their lunch breaks in the library reading. Not picky about the genre they read but it does have a soft spot for fantasy and mystery

• Would prefer online learning over actually going to school

• Had a 2020 alt phase (it haunts them in their dreams but they also sort of miss it)

• Not a huge fan of anime but they wouldn’t mind watching it if their friends really wanted to

• Huge fan of Gravity Falls. It finds the mystery aspect of the show interesting and they relate to Dipper a lot

• Beside Gravity Falls, they also like Over the Garden Wall, Charlie Brown movies, Winnie the Pooh, and Scooby Doo (specifically the old school and mystery incorporated versions but any of era is fine with them)

• I’m a bit iffy on this one but I think they would like gummies and probably prefer them over chocolate. It wouldn’t like sour ones though, just classic gummy candy like gummy worms, bears, etc

• LOVESSS ASMR. They would listen to it all the time. Reading, doing homework, sleeping- whatever it’s doing, they’re listening to asmr

• Other than music, their favourite subjects in school would be history and english (specifically creative writing, they don’t really enjoy writing essays)

• Prefers older music rather than today’s music. Unless it’s folk of some kind, they would prefer to listen to bands and musicians from the 60s and back. Additionally, it strikes me as the type to believe love songs back then and better than love songs today

• Would love watching those analysis videos on YouTube. It doesn’t matter what the topic being discussed is, they’ll watch it anyways because it just enjoys learning

• Because of their love for analysis videos, they know a bunch of fun facts about a variety of subjects. If someone were to ask them something about a particular subject, they would most likely know the answer, no matter how obscure it is

• I feel like they would absolutely rock the very controversial fashion trend of wearing skirts over pants. This is already somewhat canon but I still think it’s worth mentioning

• Along with skirts over pants, Cole would prefer wearing loose comfortable clothing that is easy to move around in

• Some staple pieces in their wardrobe would include: Long sleeve shirts, baggy t-shirts, sweater vests, button ups, zip up sweaters, loose pants, and flowy skirts

• Their style is very casual with just a dash of whimsy to keep things interesting, add some drama y’know?

That’s all the headcanons I have for now, next up is Clémentine <3